can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dicks are not precious.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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