We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
