I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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