Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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