haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
