He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
