They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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