Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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