Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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