Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
