Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
