Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
