I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
