Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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