I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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