Fuck appropriateness.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize