you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
