Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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