i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
