Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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