Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
