If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
