there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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