heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
