I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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