I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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