dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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