i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
