I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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