So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
