i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
