just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
