She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
