You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
