i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize