she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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