Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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