I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
