just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
bring money and cleavage
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
