ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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