I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You know, be my cock's hype man.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
