It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
