fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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