My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
