oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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