STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
