well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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