I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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