Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
