i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
