I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
