i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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