can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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