i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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