The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
