is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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