thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
